10 incarnations of bridezillas

The dictionary classifies a ‘Bridezilla’ as a bride to be who becomes so focused on the wedding that she becomes difficult and obnoxious. But are all brides to be like that? Sure, women love attention to detail and the day is all about the bride, but from my experiences, I have met so many other brides to be who do not fit the generic ‘Bridezilla’ tag. Not all brides have to be bossy, demanding, stressed and rude. I met a whole range of women and along the way, realized how women bond over wedding details. Even in a field as competitive as law, I’ve had a bride tell me where she found a wedding dress for £30. Here are my experiences of 10 incarnations of bridezilla and the range of women that go anywhere from indifferent to crazy when they accept a proposal:

1. The Superwoman Bridezilla – This is the bridezilla that puts all other bridezillas to shame with her attention to detail, super organized plans and creative touch. Imagine Bree van de Kamp (of Desperate Housewives) and Martha Stewart rolled into one. I confess I never met a superwoman bridezilla but my friend mentioned one who spent two years planning her wedding and it went off without a hitch. She added some personal touches to the wedding such as a small tree with name tags hanging on its braches as an alternative seating chart, and Polaroid cameras at every guest table. Most likely to: Book her wedding more than a year in advance, arm herself with atleast five organizers or wedding books and make a perfect spreadsheet with a realistic (gasp!)wedding budget.
2. The Classic Bridezilla – This is the woman that Hollywood and patriarchal society would like to perpetuate, no seriously, there are women who are so demanding that they intimidate their partners. My fiancé and I never ask our common friend Keith about his wedding because we realize his partner probably get her way in everything she does. Most likely to: Cheekily ask every member of family to do something for the wedding like bake the cake, drive the car, decorate the place and when they take a break, shout at them in such a way that someone in the room breaks down. 
3. The Reluctant Bridezilla – I met 40 something glamorous and gorgeous Kate at the Indian embassy as I was waiting to submit an application for a tourist VISA. Chatting to the lovely Kate, I found out that she is also engaged. However, she did not wear her ring but also didn’t seem very interested in talking about wedding details. I found this very usual because most women, who are going to be married or already married relish the opportunity to speak about weddings. She mentioned that she’s been engaged before in the past so I wonder if the novelty has worn off. Most likely to: Jet set around the world, not wear an engagement ring on grounds that it is too dangerous to wear one.
4. Wannabe Bridezilla – I met 20 year old Maggie at a birthday party. As soon as she heard I was engaged, she asked me a million questions about my engagement and wedding. This is the only bridezilla who could show more excitement than the actual bride. She said I was “so lucky” when she heard a rumour that I got a Tiffany ring. I told her that a girl doesn’t need to find a man to buy a ring in this 21^st century of women’s empowerment and that she could just go to Tiffany’s herself and find a ring. She confessed that she already had. Most likely to: Read Brides Magazine in bookstores, pester every body for an invitation to their wedding.
5. The Unsatisfied Bridezilla – My fiance’s friend once mentioned that another friend hated her engagement ring. She thought her boyfriend was too cheap and didn’t like her ring. I was shocked. I also met another bride who was so embarrassed of her ring that she never wore it. Most likely to: Hint very loudly to her partner that she wants to be married. Also, hint very loudly that she doesn’t like her ring.
6. The Bridezilla’s Bridezilla – This is the unusual term I’ve created for my soon to be sister in law, Pauline, who has been helping me. This is a girl who doesn’t take a lunch break so that she can come view my wedding dress, a girl whose opinion is taken as being ‘sensible and reasonable’ in all accounts by my fiancé, and one who will spend lots of time thinking about wedding details for you. One night, I received a text from my own bridezilla reminding me that I cant have white envelopes for my wedding invitations. When I showed her my proposed bridesmaid’s dress, she loved it and said she would wear it again and again. There are special people who are thoughtful and helpful and have a way of making people feel good about the event they are preparing. Surround yourself with these! Most likely to: Patiently waiting at every wedding dress fitting, and drive an hour to come see your engagement ring as soon as you get it.
7. The Stingy Bridezilla – My fiancé has a friend, Elise, who is infamous for being tight. When I met her a few weeks before her wedding, she told me to cut costs by not giving guests desert, which is exactly what she plans on doing for her wedding. She then went on to say that people who spend lots of money are stupid. When she sent an email announcing her wedding, most of her friends actually thought it counted as her invitation to save costs. Most likely to: Plan her wedding on a day that is cheapest for her but one which will inconvinience her guests, and loudly asking her guests to bring money to the wedding. Also likely to claim she does not need an engagement ring because she doesn’t believe people should waste so much money, but then buying one from Claire’s Accessories to look like an engagement ring.
8. Bridezilla with No Idea – My friend Teresa immigrated to the UK, got pregnant months after meeting her future husband and had a plan a wedding and a baby in a very short period of time. Her partner had to plan the whole wedding and you know how men are when it comes to planning! Most likely to: Pay a huge sum of money for wedding items as they couldn’t do enough research.
9. The Accomodating Bridezilla – My friend Sophie had a huge family and had to cater to every one’s desires and whim for her wedding. I felt a bit sorry for her that even relatives and family make her day so complicated. She said to me that the ones who criticize her the most are sadly ones from her own close family. I said to her “Marry who you want, have the wedding you want.” Most likely to: Spend weeks organizing seating arrangements, then reorganize them all over again.
10. Always a Bridezilla – My fiance’s friend, Vivian, who got married two years ago confessed that she still looks at wedding dresses. She met me for lunch and gave me lots of tips on weddings, especially on bargains. She had her wedding favour boxes made in Taiwan, her dress bought in China, and the wedding hosted in Italy. I guess some women love weddings and everything about it. Most likely to: Accompany you to the nearest bookshop to buy Martha Stewart’s Wedding Magazine. Once there, she will sit and read the magazine and discuss how to make your day special. 

Social Bookmark to: